British dictionary
by Taxidermied
Summary: You, America, And France find a British Dictionary and decide to annoy Britain with his slang. Sorta reader insert. It has lots of slang for vital regions, so...don't like, don't read! R&R! enjoy, my dearies!


"Dude! Iggs! I didn't know you had such awesome words in your dictionary!" I yelled at the British man drinking his tea.

"Well I do. What're you going to do with that dictionary, anyway?" He asked, gesturing to the book I held in my hand.

TIME SKIP!

"Hmph…that British limey doesn't even know the definition of fun!" I said, walking down the street, dictionary in hand. All of a sudden, I spotted two more awesome countries I knew nearby.

"Yo! Francey-pants! 'Merica! Come look at this, dudes!" I sprinted off to them and flailed the dictionary in front of their noses.

"IT'S THE BRITISH DICTIONARY!" I yelled at them. France chuckled and America caught on to me.

"Dude! Seriously? We should totally read that and spit out random British words to Iggy!" with that, we high-fived and dragged along Francis.

TIME SKIP!

When we got to my house, we all sat in the dining room and checked out the dictionary.

"Okay, okay. So, the first word is…" I said, flipping to the first page. (You are bold, France is italic and America is normal)

**Tosser – Idiot**

_Cock-up – Screw up_

Bloody – Damn

**Give You A Bell – Call you**

_Blimey! – My Goodness_

Wanker – Idiot

**Gutted – Devastated**

_Bespoke – Custom Made_

Chuffed – Proud

**Fancy – Like**

_Sod Off – Piss off_

Lost the Plot – Gone Crazy

**Fortnight – Two Weeks**

_Sorted – Arranged_

Hoover – Vaccum

**Kip – Sleep or nap**

_Bee's Knees – Awesome_

Know Your Onions – Knowledgeable

**Dodgy – Suspicious**

_Wonky – Not right_

Wicked – Cool!

**Whinge – Whine**

_Tad – Little bit_

Tenner – £10

**Fiver – £5**

_Skive – Lazy or avoid doing something_

Toff – Upper Class Person

**Punter – Customer/Prostitute's Client**

_Scouser – Someone from Liverpool_

Quid – £

**Taking the Piss – Screwing around32. Pissed – Drunk**

_Loo – Toilet_

Nicked – Stolen

**Nutter – Crazy Person**

_Knackered – Tired_

Gobsmacked – Amazed

**Dog's Bollocks – Awesome**

_Chap – Male or friend_

Bugger – Jerk

**Bog Roll – Toilet Paper**

_Bob's Your Uncle – There you go!_

Anti-Clockwise – We Say Counter Clockwise

**C of E – Church of England**

_Pants – Panties_

Throw a Spanner in the Works – Screw up

**Zed – We say ZZZZZZZ**

_Absobloodylootely – YES!_

Nosh – Food

**One Off – One time only**

_Shambles – Mess_

Arse-over-tit – Fall over

**Brilliant! – Great!**

_Dog's Dinner – Dressed Nicely_

Up for it – Willing to have sex

**On the Pull – Looking for sex**

_Ma__de Redundant – Fired from a job_

Easy Peasy – Easy

**see a Man About a Dog – Do a deal or take a dump**

_Up the Duff – Pregnant_

DIY – Do It Yourself home improvements

**Chat Up – Flirt**

_Fit – Hot_

Arse – Ass

**Strawberry Creams – Breasts**

_Shag – Screw_

Gentleman Sausage – Penis

**Twigs & Berries – Genitalia**

_Fanny – Vagina_

Bollocks – Balls

**Ponce – Poser**

_Don't Get Your Knickers in a Twist – Don't Get worked up_

The Telly – Television

**Bangers – Sausage**

_Chips – French Fries_

Daft Cow – Idiot

**Do – Party**

_Uni – College/University_

Starkers – Naked

**Smeg – From Red Dwarf**

_Bits 'n Bobs – Various things_

Anorak – A person weirdly interested in something

**Shambles – bad shape/plan gone wrong**

_I'm Off to Bedfordshire – Going to bed_

**Her Majesty's Pleasure – To be in prison**

_Horses for Courses – Won't work for someone else_

John Thomas – Penis

**Plastered – Drunk**

_Meat and Two Veg – Genitalia_

Knob Head – Idiot/Dickhead

**Knob – Penis**

_Chav – White trash_

It`s monkeys outside – it is very cold

**Stag Night – Bachelor Party**

_Ace – Cool!_

Plonker – Idiot

**Dobber – Penis**_. _

_BellEnd – Penis_

Blighty – Britain

**Rubbish – Garbage or 'That's crap!'**

"Wow…" I say, holding my stomach area from laughing so hard.

"Haha! That's so weird!" Exclaims America, and before France can say anything, England comes in.

"Hey England, do YOU know your onions?" I ask him and he turns to me and shoots me a strange look.

"Hey Blighty! Just letting you know, I may be away a fortnight!" says America and France and I break into fits of childish giggles. England shoots us another strange look and we laugh harder when I say

"Don't be shuch a Plonker, thinking of Dobbers!" At this, we all burst out laughing, England shocked by what I said.

"I-I DID NO SUCH THING!" We started to laugh harder and he "humphed" and left the room.

"Dude, how long do you think we can annoy him with these?" I wiped a stray tear from my eye and controlled my laughter to a small giggle.

"I don't know, but I hope at least a little while, this is fun!"


End file.
